An absurd blog post you shouldn't read

Payday. Time to rip 6-100 packs from my weekly CC Waifu Hentai and other keywords shipment. Today is a good day I am excited." Fast-forward 3-5 business days, unless you're one of our lovely international customers more like two weeks... In which case we're fastforwarding to whenever the fuck the packs arrive. "Damn I am exited! My nips are erect and violently lactating through my shirt. Shit why do I have so much underboob... What the... Where did my co-" Sorry... we went to the wrong cutaway scene that wasn't a part of the plan for you to read that.... Uh right ... "Woohoo my Caffeine Critical is here! Look mom the box says Caffeine Critical on the outside it's an energy supplement in this box mom I swear, wait stop, don't touch my supplements mom, stop!" Anyways the packs get ripped and I'm overcummed with joy, so are the cards, they're overcummed too. "I had an excellent time opening these packs, 5/5 stars!"

Ok, so admittedly... blog posts are just keyword farms. This blog was just a script for a caffeine critical commercial that nobody would ever allow to air. If it did air, especially if there were big tiddy anime bitches in it, I'd get a bunch of new customers garunteed.